More About Spoons

I have been asked to explain a bit more how this Spoon Theory works that I wrote in my last blog post. The original theory is here, it is very beautiful. But I try to explain it in my way now.

We have our own, unique life. That means we have different situations, different things in life that we must think about. Some have chronic illness, some depression, some must struggle with money, relationships, other issues. So, actually, the theory is very flexible and everyone can, in a way, relate to it. I explain this now from the spoonie (chronically ill) point of view to you, my point of view, so please feel free to think differently!

Now, when I talk about spoons, I mean energy. Strength. The fuel we have when we wake up in the morning and which help us get going through the day.  Because we all have this one and only, unique life of ours that differs from everyone else's, we do have also different number of spoons. Some have lots and lots and lots and lots of them, some have two. (And, as you know me, you'll quess at this point already that there will be a lesson in the end the story.) So, this is how it looks in the morning for a healthy person waking up (left), and for a chronically ill person (right):

   

Now. As you see, it seems a bit unfair situation we are having here. Well. It definitely is. (And just wait and see the end of the day photo, how unfair is that...) Some of us have spoons so many she/he could share them to others and could not notice the difference. Some have so few there actually are no energy to get up. As I explained in the earlier blog post, getting out of bed isn't that simple as you may have always thought. You open your eyes, try to get your body out of bed, walk to the bathroom, brush your teeth and well, basically, back to bed for the rest of the day, and there should be also dressing up, preparing your breakfast and eating it, going to work, working, coming back and everything in between like talking, thinking, seeing, writing, doing things. And in the evening, possibly a bit of cooking, washing clothes or dishes, or hobbies, seeing friends... 

This all, as you know, requires some energy. Spoons. How could you do that with two spoons? Well. You just can't. It's obvious. You must make decisions. Every day, step by step. If I wash my hair now, I can't cook. If I talk to the phone, I can't wash my clothes. If I cook, I cannot read my emails. So on. No need to point out, there would be no spoons for any kind of a hobby. Each and every day is like struggling with two coins to use for your grocery shopping, bills, everything, and you can't have no extra coins, ever. Expect this is actually quite something else. You have to mould yourself and your life to fit in the energy level you have. You have to squeeze your dreams, hopes, everything - your life and yourself - in this ridiculous, pathetic number of spoons you have been given. 

Oh, and the evening? This is how it looks like for a healthy person and for a spoonie. You see?

But. Maybe here is the lesson thingy. People having this amazing number of spoons, they usually do not even know it. They will never ever have to think about the energy, or spoons, how could they? They moan about getting out of bed after spending a night with friends and having to go to work in the morning, but they just get up, go to work, do whatever they like in the evening and start all over again in the morning. Never realising it is actually a privilege, not forced to make decisions how to use their day. It's normal. However. (Haha, you see, here it comes.) I might be wrong, but I have a strong feeling that the ones with the pathetic number of spoons, the spoonies, they come out as a winner here. They are forced to think. They have to learn how to really live. How to use your everyday life. How to survive, but also, how to be content, satisfied, happy with just the number of energy/spoons/things in their life. Not using the spoons for being bitter or jealous or angry because the life didn't turn out to be just as it used to or supposed to or how they planned it to be. Instead, they concentrate on what is good, what is beautiful in their life. On what they have, not what they don't. 

And that is the thing ordinary people should learn a bit more. Instead of being dissatisfied and complaining about basically everything, they should concentrate on what they could be grateful for, but how's that ever going to happen when you don't even realise there is something you should be grateful for? Like getting up in the morning and not having to worry how to take the next step without collapsing. I'd love them to understand that they have endless opportunities. Every day is a new change to start making your dreams come true. Thinking about what you really want to do, instead of just going through your life thinking "if only" or "then", and actually never stopping for a monent long enough to breathe in and realising that if only thinking could be something else and then could be now.

We spoonies, we have our own individual reasons why we are here, counting our spoons. But it has definitely made us learn to appreciate life and its little precious moments and the gift of seeing beauty in them. Call it mindfulness or whatever, but for me it's just living.