My Finland part 1

(Sorry for the techical problems, I couldn't solve them at the moment...)

I have to confess that I have grown up in a completely musical snob family.  And I say that with all my love, and I'm one too, obviously. Growing up listening to Wagner, Tchaikovsky, Sibelius, Brahms, Beethoven, and you know the rest, and knowing arias of The Magic Flute by heart at the age of five, playing the violin for over two decades, and having a home filled with musical instruments, it was quite a rare thing to hear pop music, or what's it even called? (Leonard Cohen being the only musical exception in our family.) We never ever listened to radio, so I have no idea who's who and what's what in the world of non-classical music. (But I can say if the cellist plays the Davidoff or if the violin is a Stradivarius or Guarnerius.) 

I have only very, very recently got used to listen to music without getting literally sick if the singer doesn't sing absolutely in tune. Or without the feeling my throat hurts when I hear a singer not knowing his/her technique. I have seriously tried to educate myself to listen to Finnish music, but it's a slow process. It's almost every day that I hear something new. I know now that there is a band called The Sunrise Avenue, and I really love their lyrics, and thanks to the vocalist, it does not even hurt my ears to listen to them, they stay quite nicely in tune. (Not probably the nicest compliment you would think, but for a person having an absolute pitch, this makes sense.) I need lyrics to mean something. I don't like the usual moaning about crumbled love life, the lyrics has to have depths like life itself. And you know what. I have found more Finnish songs like that than English ones. It's a pity not so many people on Earth understand them. My researcher side still thrives inside me, and I like to think it's something to do being a Finn that makes our songs so meaningful. 

We Finns do not speak much. We are rather good listeners, though. It's considered as lack of manners or very rude to interrupt another person speaking. And because we don't do small talk (you just have to see the Finnish F1 drivers once and you know what I mean), it's a good idea to listen, because if we speak, it's all hard-core stuff. After spending three decades listening to Italian arias about absurd love, I'm stuck with the feeling of relief, finally finding Music That Matters. Even though it's not Very Sophisticated. (I have gone through that same phase with literature too, after Dickens, Tolstoy, Dostoyevsky, and so on, I have intentionally learnt to read whatever I feel like, not what Is Supposed To Read.) I think I might shower you with Finnish lyrics, I have hundreds in my mind already, that have a wonderful message.

Yesterday I heard one song for the first time in my life. (That still happens every day, new songs, being a newbie in this world of non-classical music.) Immediately I wanted to share it with you. It's about Finland, about being a Finn. It wraps it up in an impressive way. Of course, Jean Sibelius does it the best, and if you really would like to know what a Finnish heart sounds like, you might want to listen Finlandia, Op. 25 . (And being a snob, I really recommend not listening to whatever record of this, but the one I link, since it really matters if the orchestra and conductor are Finnish, others just cannot get it right. Just listen to this, you don't have to watch the video itself, but let the music flows into your heart and stay there forever. 8:42 minutes isn't that long time in your life. You can do it. After listening to this particular version, you're free to find whatever version you like in Spotify, but this one is an ultimate version, I listened hundreds of them for you.) This one is English version of the hymn part only, and it's just perfect, perfect, perfect: Finlandia Hymn and it speaks for itself. (And if you feel like wow, that's cool, just wait for this: Violin Concerto in D minor, Op. 47 violinist, naturally, Pekka Kuusisto!) Now, to that song I heard yesterday. After these Sibelius, you will find actually, that it's quite the same, essentially Finnish, dark, bittersweet, wistful, serious, and oh, so well describes how much we love our country.

A very Finnish Lauri Tähkä

here: Minun Suomeni (My Finland)

My Finland

My Finland is

A sentence not stated

It's the trees in the forests

It's the moon in the sky

Over the snow

My Finland is

A boy not baptized

You can't get the paganism out of the boy

Just by giving a name

When I think about it

I understand it

I'm too Finnish

My Finland

Is under the starry sky

My Finland is entirely open

And I found it out when I was roaming

All over the world

My Finland is

The most beautiful in the world

I bet it might fade away

Somewhere else

Under some other sky

Why does the longing hit

To the chest when the summer night

Opens in front of me

It goes off somehow

Just by sitting there

When I think about it

I understand it

I'm too Finnish

My Finland

Is under the starry sky

My Finland is entirely open

And I found it out when I was roaming

All over the world

My Finland is

The most beautiful in the world

And when I'm wading through my small life here

It's wild, surging in my veins

My Finland is my heart

My Finland is my head

My Finland is the sky, it's the land

My Finland

Is under the starry sky

My Finland is entirely open

And I found it out when I was roaming

All over the world

My Finland is

The most beautiful in the world

The most beautiful in the world

and in Finnish:

Minun Suomeni

Minun Suomeni on

Lause lausumaton

Se on metsässä puut

Taivaalla kuu

Yllä hankien

 Minun Suomeni on

Poika kastamaton

Ei poijjaasta saa pois pakanaa

Vain antamalla nimen

Sitä kun aattelen

Minä ymmärrän sen

Olen liiankin suomalainen

Minun Suomeni

On tähtitaivaan alla

Minun Suomeni

On auki kokonaan

Ja sen löysin kun mä kuljeskelin

Tuolla maailmalla

Minun Suomeni on

Kaunein päällä maan

Kai se haihtua pois

Jossain muualla vois

Jonkun toiseen taivaan alla

Miksi kaipaus lyö

Rintaan kun kesäyö

Eteeni aukeaa

Jotekin laukeaa

Vain siinä istumalla

Sitä kun aattelee

Minä ymmärrän sen

Olen liiankin suomalainen

Minun Suomeni

On tähtitaivaan alla

Minun Suomeni

On auki kokonaan

Ja sen löysin kun mä kuljeskelin

Tuolla maailmalla

Minun Suomeni on

Kaunein päällä maan

Ja kun täällä kahlaan pientä elämääni

Se on suonissani villi kuohuva

Minun Suomeni on sydämeni

Minun Suomeni on pääni

Minun Suomeni on taivas, se on maa

Minun Suomeni

On tähtitaivaan alla

Minun Suomeni

On auki kokonaan

Ja sen löysin kun mä kuljeskelin

Tuolla maailmalla

Minun Suomeni on

Kaunein päällä maan

Kaunein päällä maan

To be continued..

More About Spoons

I have been asked to explain a bit more how this Spoon Theory works that I wrote in my last blog post. The original theory is here, it is very beautiful. But I try to explain it in my way now.

We have our own, unique life. That means we have different situations, different things in life that we must think about. Some have chronic illness, some depression, some must struggle with money, relationships, other issues. So, actually, the theory is very flexible and everyone can, in a way, relate to it. I explain this now from the spoonie (chronically ill) point of view to you, my point of view, so please feel free to think differently!

Now, when I talk about spoons, I mean energy. Strength. The fuel we have when we wake up in the morning and which help us get going through the day.  Because we all have this one and only, unique life of ours that differs from everyone else's, we do have also different number of spoons. Some have lots and lots and lots and lots of them, some have two. (And, as you know me, you'll quess at this point already that there will be a lesson in the end the story.) So, this is how it looks in the morning for a healthy person waking up (left), and for a chronically ill person (right):

   

Now. As you see, it seems a bit unfair situation we are having here. Well. It definitely is. (And just wait and see the end of the day photo, how unfair is that...) Some of us have spoons so many she/he could share them to others and could not notice the difference. Some have so few there actually are no energy to get up. As I explained in the earlier blog post, getting out of bed isn't that simple as you may have always thought. You open your eyes, try to get your body out of bed, walk to the bathroom, brush your teeth and well, basically, back to bed for the rest of the day, and there should be also dressing up, preparing your breakfast and eating it, going to work, working, coming back and everything in between like talking, thinking, seeing, writing, doing things. And in the evening, possibly a bit of cooking, washing clothes or dishes, or hobbies, seeing friends... 

This all, as you know, requires some energy. Spoons. How could you do that with two spoons? Well. You just can't. It's obvious. You must make decisions. Every day, step by step. If I wash my hair now, I can't cook. If I talk to the phone, I can't wash my clothes. If I cook, I cannot read my emails. So on. No need to point out, there would be no spoons for any kind of a hobby. Each and every day is like struggling with two coins to use for your grocery shopping, bills, everything, and you can't have no extra coins, ever. Expect this is actually quite something else. You have to mould yourself and your life to fit in the energy level you have. You have to squeeze your dreams, hopes, everything - your life and yourself - in this ridiculous, pathetic number of spoons you have been given. 

Oh, and the evening? This is how it looks like for a healthy person and for a spoonie. You see?

But. Maybe here is the lesson thingy. People having this amazing number of spoons, they usually do not even know it. They will never ever have to think about the energy, or spoons, how could they? They moan about getting out of bed after spending a night with friends and having to go to work in the morning, but they just get up, go to work, do whatever they like in the evening and start all over again in the morning. Never realising it is actually a privilege, not forced to make decisions how to use their day. It's normal. However. (Haha, you see, here it comes.) I might be wrong, but I have a strong feeling that the ones with the pathetic number of spoons, the spoonies, they come out as a winner here. They are forced to think. They have to learn how to really live. How to use your everyday life. How to survive, but also, how to be content, satisfied, happy with just the number of energy/spoons/things in their life. Not using the spoons for being bitter or jealous or angry because the life didn't turn out to be just as it used to or supposed to or how they planned it to be. Instead, they concentrate on what is good, what is beautiful in their life. On what they have, not what they don't. 

And that is the thing ordinary people should learn a bit more. Instead of being dissatisfied and complaining about basically everything, they should concentrate on what they could be grateful for, but how's that ever going to happen when you don't even realise there is something you should be grateful for? Like getting up in the morning and not having to worry how to take the next step without collapsing. I'd love them to understand that they have endless opportunities. Every day is a new change to start making your dreams come true. Thinking about what you really want to do, instead of just going through your life thinking "if only" or "then", and actually never stopping for a monent long enough to breathe in and realising that if only thinking could be something else and then could be now.

We spoonies, we have our own individual reasons why we are here, counting our spoons. But it has definitely made us learn to appreciate life and its little precious moments and the gift of seeing beauty in them. Call it mindfulness or whatever, but for me it's just living.